Step 01
Who is this for?
Partner, parent, boss, friend, ex. Eleven options because the relationship changes every word.
Built for the moment you've been deleting & retyping for ten minutes.
100 ways to say To remember them — in 30 seconds.
Tell us five things about the moment. We’ll write you three real eulogies — the kind a wise friend would — calibrated to your tone, your relationship, and the one question a chatbot would never know to ask.
★★★★★
First 3 eulogies free · no card · $9.99 unlocks everything, forever.
One price. No subscription. Ever.
One price. No subscription. Ever.
YOU
“I don’t know how to word this.”
US ↓
“My dad once made a class of sophomores memorize the periodic table by rewriting the lyrics to American Pie. Half of you in this room learned chlorine that way. That’s the kind of teacher
001
/ 100 moments
30s
to a real eulogy
3
options every time
$9.99
once. yours forever.
0
subscriptions, ever
Real you, 11:42pm. Six drafts in. Nothing’s right.
The Problem
You meant it to land. But you’ve been deleting and retyping for an hour.
Hard conversations are unevenly distributed in skill — and the cost of getting them wrong is enormous. Here’s why nothing you’ve tried so far is working.
- ✕ Greeting cards say one thing, one way. And they cost more than this product.
- ✕ ChatGPT happily produces “Today we gather to remember a beautiful soul who was gone too soon and loved by all who knew them. They will be deeply missed. Heaven gained an angel.” The recipient reads it as generic and the message doesn’t land.
- ✕ Asking a friend takes two days and exposes the situation to someone else.
- ✕ Winging it is how every bad eulogy got sent.
- ✕ Your own draft doesn’t know that who needs this most? is the moat — and so it doesn’t honor it.
How it works
Five taps. Three real ways to say it.
We don’t hand you a chat box. We ask the five questions a wise friend would ask — in the order they’d ask them — and write back something you’d actually send.
Step 02
How badly did it land?
A scratch. A real hurt. Something broke. We calibrate the weight of the apology to the size of the harm.
The moat ◆
Step 03
What role are you speaking from?
The room hears the role first. Wrong role lands wrong.
Step 04
One line. What happened.
Plain language. No need to perform. We do the craft — you get three real options to choose from.
★ Try it free · no card · right here
Write your apology. Right now.
First three apologies are on us. By the time you finish your third, you’ll know whether $9.99 is worth it.
1 Who
2 How bad
3 Hard question
4 Context
5 Tone
6 Length
Real people. Real sends.
Words that actually landed.
Submitted by users with permission, names changed. Receipts in the dashboard.
★★★★★
“I’d been drafting the text to my mom for three weeks. Three weeks. Wrote four, deleted four. This thing gave me one I sent in five minutes — and she called me crying. In a good way.”
Casey M.
Used /eulogy for: an adult-child / parent message
★★★★★
“Picked ‘not really’ on the hard question and braced for the AI to ignore me. It didn’t. It wrote me a repair message that wasn’t a confession. That’s the moment I paid.”
Daniel R.
Used /eulogy for: a misread at a party
★★★★★
“I snapped at a coworker in standup. The brief version was three sentences and honestly cleaner than anything I’d have written. Sent it before lunch, we’re fine.”
Priya N.
Used /eulogy for: a workplace apology
Why this beats the alternatives
You already tried the other options.
A greeting card
$6.99 + drive to CVS
- ✕ Says one thing, one way
- ✕ Generic, prewritten, by a stranger
- ✕ Takes a day to actually arrive
- ✕ Says nothing about your situation
- ✕ Costs more than this
ChatGPT
Free, blank box
- ✕ Won’t ask if you were in the wrong
- ✕ Defaults to “I’m sorry you feel that way”
- ✕ Three rounds of prompting to get something usable
- ✕ Tone shifts are cosmetic, not structural
- ✕ No memory of what makes a eulogy actually land
★ This product
100 Ways to Say To remember them
$9.99 once · everything included
- ✓ Asks the question a chatbot won’t
- ✓ Three real options, not three rephrasings
- ✓ Tones produce structurally different writing
- ✓ Built-in traps: blocks 13 empirically-failing phrases for this moment
- ✓ Refund inside 7 days if it didn’t land
Pricing
One price. No subscription.
Three eulogies free to try it. After that, one price unlocks everything — current moments and every future moment we ship. Refunds within 7 days, no questions.
★ The whole library
One price · everything · forever
$9.99
All access
- ✓ Unlimited eulogies, any tone, any length
- ✓ Sorry · No · Thank you · Goodbye · Condolences and every future moment
- ✓ One-time, no subscription, yours forever
- ✓ 7-day no-questions refund
FAQ
The honest answers, including the awkward ones.
Is this just a wrapper around ChatGPT?
No. It uses Claude under the hood — but the value isn’t the generation. It’s the five questions we ask before we generate, in the order we ask them, with the third one (who needs this eulogy most — and what role are you speaking from?) that no chatbot would think to ask. Strip that out and you’d have a worse chatbot. Add it back and you have a product.
What if I weren’t actually in the wrong?
The hard question on step 3 — who needs this eulogy most — and what role are you speaking from? — reroutes the output. Honest answers there are the unlock; the message lands differently when the user is willing to be honest with us. This is the case we’re proudest of.
Will the words actually be good?
Yes. We bake 13 banned phrases directly into the system prompt, so they never appear in your output. Every option must do three jobs at once: the three jobs for this moment. If a draft fails any of those, the model rewrites it.
Why isn’t this a subscription?
Because most people only need this a handful of times a year. A subscription would be a worse fit for the moment — you’d feel obligated to use it. One-time payment matches one-time use. If we’re wrong and you do use it constantly, $9.99 once is already a deal.
What about privacy — do you keep what I write?
We store the metadata of generations (which moment, which tone, which relationship category) to enforce the free-tier cap and improve outputs. We do not store your context sentence or the AI’s generated eulogies after the session ends. Your draft isn’t training data and never will be.
What if I hate the output?
Regenerate. Free, unlimited, no penalty. Most users get the one they send within 1–2 generations.
Can I get a refund?
Yes — within 7 days, no questions. Reply to your Stripe receipt and we’ll refund. We’d rather lose $9.99 than have you carry a grudge about it.
What’s coming next?
/no (declines & boundaries), /thank-you, /condolences, /goodbye, /space, and /money. If you bought all-access, every one of those is already unlocked for you the day it ships.
You already know what you want to say.
We’ll help you find the words.
Begin the eulogy →
First three on us. No card. 30 seconds.